{"id":46067,"date":"2016-12-20T17:39:26","date_gmt":"2016-12-20T17:39:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.afrikmag.com\/?p=46067"},"modified":"2016-12-20T17:39:26","modified_gmt":"2016-12-20T17:39:26","slug":"preuves-manipules-couple-conseil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/afrikmag.com\/var\/www\/vhosts\/afrikmag.compublic_html\/preuves-manipules-couple-conseil\/","title":{"rendered":"5 preuves que vous \u00eates manipul\u00e9s dans votre couple"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pour Robert Neuburger, psychiatre, psychanalyste et th\u00e9rapeute de couple mais aussi \u00a0de famille, \u00ab\u00a0un couple est une bulle opaque au monde ext\u00e9rieur. Le revers de cette intimit\u00e9 est qu’il n’y a pas de t\u00e9moins de ce qui s’y passe. Dans ce contexte peuvent se jouer des drames. Des modes pervers d’utilisation du langage peuvent \u00eatre utilis\u00e9s afin d’aveugler, rendre confus, stigmatiser son ou sa partenaire.\u00a0\u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ces manipulations langagi\u00e8res peuvent litt\u00e9ralement enfermer l’autre dans un pi\u00e8ge. \u00a0Prendre conscience de ce qui est r\u00e9ellement en train de se jouer permet de d\u00e9jouer la manipulation et d’\u00e9viter de sombrer dans les pathologies que ces paroles perverses peuvent causer. Pour le psychiatre,\u00a0\u00ab nous sommes tous des pervers manipulateurs \u00bb<\/strong>. Et cela commence d\u00e8s l’enfance, avec le langage. Voici 5 preuves que vous \u00eates manipul\u00e9s dans votre couple.<\/p>\n

1- La culpabilisation<\/h3>\n

\u00ab Il m\u2019a tromp\u00e9e, mais il soutient que c\u2019est de ma faute, que je ne suis pas assez pr\u00e9sente pour lui. \u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cette manipulation langagi\u00e8re est la plus fr\u00e9quente. La personne qui se sent accus\u00e9e va retourner la situation. Non seulement elle ne va pas reconna\u00eetre sa part de responsabilit\u00e9, mais elle va rendre l’autre enti\u00e8rement responsable de son comportement. La manipulation est assez grossi\u00e8re mais fonctionne malheureusement tr\u00e8s bien si la victime a peur de se confronter \u00e0 son conjoint, craignant de le perdre. Si la femme, dans le cas d\u2019esp\u00e8ce, en vient \u00e0 se sentir r\u00e9ellement coupable, le probl\u00e8me se complexifie.<\/p>\n

\"5<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2- L\u2019apitoiement<\/h3>\n

\u00ab Je veux la quitter, mais elle va tr\u00e8s mal et m\u2019en \u00a0emp\u00eache. \u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Certaines personnes plus que d’autres, sont sensibles au malheur des autres. Cette fibre empathique peut ais\u00e9ment \u00eatre utilis\u00e9e par les manipulateurs. Dans le cas pr\u00e9sent, celui qui veut partir ne le peut pas car le conjoint fait appel \u00e0 ce qui reste d\u2019affection pour l\u2019en emp\u00eacher. Un homme qui part avec une autre femme ne d\u00e9teste pas la pr\u00e9c\u00e9dente. Il l\u2019appr\u00e9cie souvent encore en tant que personne, mais l\u2019attrait sexu\u00e9 n\u2019est plus.\u00a0 C\u2019est un pi\u00e8ge terrible. L’autre reste par piti\u00e9.<\/p>\n

\"5<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3- La dette<\/h3>\n

\u00ab Comment peut-il me faire tous ces reproches alors que j\u2019ai tout sacrifi\u00e9 pour lui ? \u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Certains manipulateurs exploitent la tendance de leur partenaire \u00e0 se sentir en dette. Le plus souvent, la partenaire d\u00e9clare : \u201cJ\u2019ai laiss\u00e9 tomber ma carri\u00e8re pour toi\u201c<\/strong>. En r\u00e9alit\u00e9, la plupart du temps, ce sacrifice est conc\u00e9d\u00e9 pour les enfants. Ce n\u2019est pas tout \u00e0 fait pareil, m\u00eame si, effectivement, l\u2019autre peut alors poursuivre sa vie professionnelle. D’autres, au contraire, peuvent aller jusqu’\u00e0 se mettre eux-m\u00eames en dette \u00e0 l’\u00e9gard de l’autre. Il est difficile de renoncer \u00e0 une relation tr\u00e8s investie affectivement et financi\u00e8rement. Car si l’on y renon\u00e7ait, on aurait l’impression d’avoir investi \u00e0 perte toutes ces ann\u00e9es… Cette dette que l’on se cr\u00e9e soi-m\u00eame est la cl\u00e9 de l’ali\u00e9nation.<\/p>\n

\"5<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

4- La flatterie<\/h3>\n

\u00ab Il me trompe, mais affirme n\u2019aimer que moi. Il me r\u00e9p\u00e8te : \u00ab\u00a0tu sais bien que les autres ne sont que des passades !\u00a0\u00bb \u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Cette technique de manipulation langagi\u00e8re peut sembler assez grossi\u00e8re tant le pi\u00e8ge est \u00e9vident, vu de l’ext\u00e9rieur. L’id\u00e9e est d’exploiter le narcissisme de son ou sa partenaire pour lui faire accepter des comportements probl\u00e9matiques. Et curieusement, c\u2019est un pi\u00e8ge terriblement efficace. Dans le cas pr\u00e9sent, celui qui manipule laisse entendre \u00e0 sa partenaire qu\u2019elle est au-dessus de cela, qu\u2019elle est suffisamment intelligente pour comprendre. La phrase est tordue.<\/p>\n

\"5<\/p>\n

5- La pathologisation<\/h3>\n

\u00ab Elle affirme que je suis d\u00e9pressif chaque fois que je lui fais un reproche. \u00bb<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0La personne tente ici d\u2019\u00e9chapper au reproche. En affirmant que son partenaire est d\u00e9prim\u00e9(e) voire d\u00e9lirant(e), elle sous-entend qu’il ou elle n’est pas digne d’\u00eatre cr\u00e9dible dans ses demandes ou revendications. Ce m\u00e9canisme \u00a0consiste \u00e0 affirmer que l’autre est atteint d’une pathologie mentale. Cette forme de manipulation langagi\u00e8re est relativement facile \u00e0 lire de l’ext\u00e9rieur. Malgr\u00e9 cela, pour la personne qui s’entend dire qu’elle est malade, cela peut s\u2019av\u00e9rer extr\u00eamement troublant.<\/p>\n

\"5<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pour Robert Neuburger, psychiatre, psychanalyste et th\u00e9rapeute de couple mais aussi \u00a0de famille, \u00ab\u00a0un couple est une bulle opaque au monde ext\u00e9rieur. Le revers de cette intimit\u00e9 est qu’il n’y a pas de t\u00e9moins de ce qui s’y passe. Dans ce contexte peuvent se jouer des drames. Des modes pervers d’utilisation du langage peuvent \u00eatre …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":46,"featured_media":46072,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[119],"tags":[407,1522,574,394,696,1184],"class_list":["post-46067","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divers","tag-amour","tag-conseil","tag-couple","tag-femme","tag-homme","tag-relation","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"\n5 preuves que vous \u00eates un manipulateur ou vous \u00eates manipul\u00e9s<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Pour Robert Neuburger, psychiatre, psychanalyste, th\u00e9rapeute de couple et de famille, "Un couple est une bulle opaque au monde ext\u00e9rieur.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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